When casual sex is bad for you.
The best part is, the more you put in the time to make your casual sexual encounters go well, the better off you are for it. The less you try, the more likely it is to be a disaster. Don’t believe us? Here are 5 ways casual sex will become a problem.
1. The Clam Down
No one ever wants to be caught asking a stranger to sleep with them. If you’re at a club, you know that people make friends (and enemies) over, at the very least, boogers. Hiding the awkwardness of asking a sex partner to keep it on the DL is much harder if you’re just drinking alone at a bar.
If you start taking sexual encounters casually, you’re training yourself to hide that you’re a shameful horn dog. There’s nothing like coming out of the closet to make something normal feel embarrassing. Dating apps and hookup culture might make casual sex feel “casual” or even normal to you, but it won’t seem that way to your casual sex partners.
2. You Don’t Do Anything
People who have been dating and have sex know that the appearance of sexual energy is only as great as the energy put forth to create the appearance. If you’re saying “I don’t know what to do,” then chances are you don’t do anything. You might not be sure where to go from there, but you’re missing out on a wealth of fun.
Imagine you’re talking to someone you find attractive. Your heart is racing with sexual energy, but you decide to ease off the gas a little. But you decide to turn off the gas completely, entirely. You don’t pass the baton. You pull the plug. You won’t experience sexual pleasure until you’ve done something.
3. The Pressure Is Too High
If the thought of being un-slutty is more pressure than you want to put on yourself, then you have to face the fact that casual sex might be ruining your life. That’s why people who play the field rarely have a happy ending. Here’s the thing about casual sex: it’s what people do, so it becomes the norm — and many folks have exactly zero boundaries, so it often becomes the norm that people try to
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We’ve discussed this very topic many times, but new data shed fresh light on the issue: In 2015, a survey of 18- to 29-year-olds found that 93% of non-heterosexual participants had had casual sex, and that casual sex was more common in women than in men. The study revealed, among other interesting things, that 67% of women and 68% of men who participated in a casual sexual relationship were currently in a committed relationship, and 10% of participants reported using casual sex to strengthen their existing relationship or obtain a relationship.
That’s a good thing, not a bad thing, and the report also found that over a third of people who use casual sex to strengthen an existing relationship or to obtain a relationship plan to have sex more often in the future. If you’re already in a relationship, you may be particularly interested in this data — maybe you’d like to spice up your relationship, or you’re currently trying to work on your sex drive and want to learn more about how casual sex might work for you.
Some concerns, however, still apply. For instance, people who typically engage in casual sex are far more likely to have unprotected sex, including HIV. If you have an STD, you should always get tested before going ahead with sex. (Because what, you say? Everyone should know if they’re positive for an STD? Of course they should.) And, obviously, if you have an STD, you should take precautions to avoid further infection and transmission.
Also, as mentioned, casual sex is not always a healthy relationship dynamic. If you’re in a committed relationship, casual sex can definitely feel casual, like you don’t really care about the other person or the consequences of their actions. That could become tiring or problematic, depending on how you’re dealing with this situation. Again, communication about the details of the dynamic is important — it could be that a few sex partners can feel more like friends, but the guy is so uninterested or busy that casual sex with him probably isn’t that hot.
Cougar dating — not for the feint of heart
Most studies on the prevalence of older-younger couples’ hookups, whether or not they’re with a person or people of the opposite gender, assume an egalitarian level of sexual intimacy and romantic involvement between partners. According to Becca Valkow, associate professor of geriatric medicine at the University of Iowa, that means hooking up may be more common.
“My clinical experience with older adults suggests
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