While at first glance casual sex may seem like the healthiest option because it is supposed to be less emotionally involved, that’s not always the case, and some research has found that casual sex is a contributing factor to sexual dissatisfaction and heart disease.
Like a lot of things in life, there’s a fine line between casual sex and overdoing it. And if you’re taking more than two steps outside the norm, it can feel closer to cheating.
Is casual sex bad for your heart?
One study in the British Medical Journal published in August found that men who had sex with more than one sexual partner during their 40s faced a 30% greater chance of having a heart attack than their peers who didn’t. Men who had sex with more than three partners were 30% more likely to die from a heart attack than their male peers who were faithful. A man’s heart rate and blood pressure spike during sex (something that is not healthy for anyone, but especially detrimental for people at risk of heart disease), and while the pressures of sexual activity — like anxiety about the other person — can change the heart rate even after the sex is over, a study in the November/December 2013 issue of the journal Psychosomatic Medicine suggested that “casual sexual partners may reduce an individual’s sense of meaningfulness and a couple’s sense of commitment.”
There is also the very real, very scary issue of STDs. Sexually transmitted diseases are known for being quick and stealthy, and when you’re having casual sex, catching an STD is just an easier way to get trashed. One survey by Planned Parenthood found that in 2007, women had sex with men in about 20% of their hookups and 5% of their boyfriend relationships. When you’re having casual sex, you’re often going in blind — what your partner looks like, how old they are, what their interests are, etc.
While casual sex is more difficult to monitor for these things when you meet someone on a dating app, the person you’re hooking up with is often more judicious about screening you than a random person on the street. That’s a problem, however, when it comes to the potential for those years of being told by your school nurse, “You need to be careful!” or some other annoying pro-sex rhetoric.
The seriousness of STD/STI testing should be no different from monogamous relationships. What you’re doing when you hook up should never be more important than the next time you’re saying “I love you.”
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Con: Casual Sex Is Dangerous to Your Health And Relationships
Let’s face it, from date one there is always the risk of emotional damage. Sometimes your deeper feelings don’t line up with someone else, they leave out a lot of the emotional commitment that makes a relationship, and having sex with no deeper strings can make you feel like an empty shell. These behaviors put you at a higher risk for emotional damage and low self-esteem.
Con: Casual Sex Is Dangerous to Your Health And Relationships
For many of us, falling in love, even falling in and out of love, is a part of the process of growing up and connecting with people. Every interaction you have with someone else is just another opportunity to try and learn more about who they are and what works for them. But who you end up with can make or break a long term relationship, even if you both come from mostly healthy families. When you’re constantly looking for new love, it can sometimes be more attractive than having a relationship where you’re committed to someone and understand their quirks.
Con: Casual Sex Is Dangerous to Your Health And Relationships
That and if you have a complicated familial situation, you could potentially get sucked into taking care of someone else’s child, which, for an idealist, might make you feel more responsible than you’d like. It can be hard to try to understand a relationship when you’re being pulled out of it, and those types of situations can make it even harder to find love.
Con: Casual Sex Is Dangerous to Your Health And Relationships
Same thing with friends, if you feel like you’re constantly pulling for the one who’s secretly using to be closer to their partner, you might feel like you’re caught in a cycle of trying to help someone they love without getting the help you need yourself. It can also hurt your reputation in your social circle, since the mere suggestion that you’re into casual sex can turn your friends or more into friends with benefits and not on the lookout for the real thing.
And people often take a great deal of heat for their behavior. “If somebody were having an affair, they would probably say: ‘I don’t want to get in trouble.'” says Alan Bradley, former supermodel George Hamilton’s husband. Bradley was eventually outed for having an affair — even though he wasn’t, technically, “having” one.
Con: Casual Sex Is Dangerous to Your Health And Relationships
It’s so much easier to get away with cheating. “My
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