Long story short — the idea is not completely unfounded. Research shows that habitual hookups can affect your overall health, including the mental health and hormone levels, as per a New York Times report on recent data. Just looking at a small population of students at the University of Arizona, a survey conducted in 2009 found that people who reported casual sex were more likely to report depression symptoms. There’s other research that shows frequent hookups, even where those partners are long-term serious relationships, tend to deplete the brain of omega-3s, which are good for thinking straight. Long story short — the idea is not completely unfounded. Research shows that habitual hookups can affect your overall health, including the mental health and hormone levels, as per a New York Times report on recent data. Just looking at a small population of students at the University of Arizona, a survey conducted in 2009 found that people who reported casual sex were more likely to report depression symptoms. There’s other research that shows frequent hookups, even where those partners are long-term serious relationships, tend to deplete the brain of omega-3s, which are good for thinking straight.
When you’re first meeting someone and starting a new relationship, casual sex, whether it’s a hookup or hooking up with a new partner, might seem like a perfectly comfortable option. After all, if it isn’t meant to be, there’s no harm done in a fun, lusty romp. But, the truth is, casual sex might not always be on the table if you and your partner have differing expectations about sex, or if one of you doesn’t feel ready to start a relationship. Having a sexual relationship with someone who doesn’t share similar values about relationships, or who you’re only in it for quick love is a different story, to be sure. As experts and couples counselors all over will tell you, casual sex isn’t always good.
Online dating games: Casual sex without strings or risk?
Needless to say, casual sex — when you’re honestly in it — isn’t a decision with no commitment, but one that should be treated with the care, forethought, and intention that it’s worth having. Before you climb into bed with someone you’ve just met, you should think about your relationship expectations with them and take precautions where there may be a risk for infections or pregnancy. Aside from being protected, there are some consequences, including shame, hurt, or violence, that you should be prepared for.
You might wonder why anyone would
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RELATED: 10 Biggest Benefits of Casual Sex
The person you’re seeing isn’t your steady boyfriend, nor is the person you just struck up a friendship with and you’re having a little fun. If you were ever someone who wanted and needed to be in a healthy relationship, these situations might be tempting to be in — but when you start examining the full picture, the casual sex you get out of it can get messy.
READ MORE: 10 Rules for Sex According to Nick Kroll
The most obvious reason you might want to go casual about the whole thing is that you like the idea of being picky. It’s a lot easier to pick and choose who you spend time with, and it helps you separate yourself from the hordes of people who are sexually available to you in your city — dating apps and the like.
But before you get so convinced that picking and choosing is the best route to a healthy sexuality, it’s important to understand what’s actually going on in your head. A 2016 study by University of Chicago researchers found that if you intentionally and constantly switch up who you find attractive, you’re less likely to find someone to date you down the road. The longer you’re open to different people, the more likely you are to find someone you really like.
As for the biology of casual sex: Although there’s usually a kissing component and you’ll usually have some sort of physical contact with your casual partner, you can’t really expect a serious long-term relationship to begin in the moment, because there are no strings attached (i.e., STD testing and P.R.S.G.S. Surgical/coital-hygienic ring), and no biological connection.
That’s why, in order to use sex as a solution to your relationship woes, you need to be able to look at casual sex as being part of a bigger picture. Casual hookups are way too easy to justify — usually so easy that you’re doing it as a way to prove to yourself that you deserve to be in a serious relationship. But casual sex isn’t a cure for anything (even if you’d like it to be), and it’s definitely not something that you should be spending all your time doing.
So, if your mindset is casual hookups are a great way to spend a night out, you should approach the dating apps you use with some caution. Either go ahead and hookup with strangers and see where you meet the next potential long-term partner, or go for a coffee with
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