The one thing these apps have really overlooked is that they’re obviously not perfect. They only get you half-way there in terms of finding a potential casual sex partner. That gap is really half the fun of them — the rest you need to do yourself. But if you’re feeling frustrated, don’t give up. A lot of the time, you can do it a lot better yourself.
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You can always rely on the street to pull you in the right direction, and if that’s the route you need to take, that’s fine. App-driven hookups are convenient. They’re anonymous. But it’s not the only way to have casual sex.
Decide if you’d rather someone who likes what they’re doing in the bedroom, or someone who will enjoy some laughs and a few drinks.
The types of people you’re going to meet will vary — some are wild and carefree, while others are committed to carrying on that whole “marriage and kids” thing for the rest of their life. But not all the time can a casual partner meet the physical and mental needs you’ll have in the coming years, so a commitment to one — even if not currently the best fit for your needs — is always a good idea.
Your ability to have an easy time is going to depend on your compatibility with your partner — and your eagerness to join a casual hookup.
The anonymous nature of the app and the ease with which you can connect with another person makes it a great way to get laid. When you’re looking to find someone for quick sex, as opposed to a long-term thing, Tinder is a great way to do so.
But if you’re looking to get something going more seriously, you might want to consider some different options.
What’s casual hookup, anyway?
Casual hookup refers to a relationship between two people — or at least one of them is a he or she — that’s expected to end in about a month, or that you do more than hook up with.
Some people use the term to mean that you don’t want to be in a long-term relationship. According to the Los Angeles Times, the term “is often used by some men to refer to engaging in casual sex with women they don’t know well, but don’t really have interest in as a whole” — specifically, the latter half of this.
Casual hookups can be three-minute fun and are generally disreputable,
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And, just because casual sex has not only been legitimized in recent years, but veritably been made the social standard, doesn’t mean that it’s always super healthy. The ubiquity of porn, media examples, and above all, the swiping model of dating apps have all contributed to a society where hookup culture can be the default — “If having sex was once taboo, not having it is today,” says Washington Post columnist Christine Emba in her book Rethinking Sex: A Provocation. This pressure to hook up can lead to having — and even seeking out — sex when you don’t really, genuinely want it.
But that isn’t to say that casual sex is itself a problem — approached properly, if anything, it can be and is empowering, liberating, and most importantly, pleasurable. The key is knowing that you’re in it because you want to be (pun not intended), and you’re aware of and prepared against potential consequences, like catching something (be it feelings or STDs). So long as that’s true, you should go forth and get laid.
The dedicated hookup app is the horny person’s vessel for hot instant gratification. But the cool thing is that most dating apps can be used for sex purposes these days. Where you decide to go to find your casual fling really just depends on how much you’d like to know about the person in your bed. The butterflies of meeting someone new are still there — they just might be happening in a different region of the body.
Is casual sex bad for you?
Here are 10 tips to have an enjoyable hookup.
So, here’s the deal with casual sex — it’s about mutual enjoyment and equality. One of the biggest obstacles to enjoying sex is the very nature of it. It’s so darn taboo. Even among people who consider themselves progressive, casual sex is still seen as dirty, kinky, and punishable. But with the rise of the swiping app, or OkCupid, the stigma has been lessened somewhat.
The stigma is so new and unusual that it can be hard for someone who has never even had sex to imagine all the things that happen before, during, and after that first hookup. Who said sex is just all about the intercourse? In the case of the OkCupid dating app, instead of viewing potential suitors as an infinite sea of possibilities, users can whittle the pool down to just those who, for example, they “like,” or respond to
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